January 2009


So I know I said Id get through this heat thing OK and it wasnt a big deal. I didnt realise that my apartment – that stays pretty cool during multiple 30 degree days, doesnt follow the same rules in 40+ days. It is nearly midday and its 39 degrees… the last few days the hottest time of the day was 4;30, so we still have a few degrees more to go!

I got home last night, after a day of the work air con struggling and giving up by 3pm… so I was hot. And people drive like idiots because they want to get home to their places with air conditioning.

I got home to an apartment that was hotter than outside. it was like sitting in an oven.

I went out that night for a catch up with a friend but I came home and was sweating instantly. Sleep was hard to come by as our two fans did nothing but blow pathetic streams of hot air over us.

Funnily enough, Ben managed to sleep but then felt so bad that I couldnt that he gave me a cuddle. Im hot, sweaty, bothered and frustrated… as sweet as the cuddle gesture is, it wasnt helping. I woke up at 4am feeling horrible after my broken sleep, drenched myself in water, drank some water, and went back to bed. At 5 I turned the morning tv on and watched the news about how hot it was…

I thought I was going to throw up this morning, so I have drunk 2 water bottles already.. I normally cant get through 3/4 of one on a good day!

Ahh well… the cool change is coming tonight. 35 degrees! ick!

I dont know how much I weigh. I stopped weighing myself years ago, about the same time I started my first office job. That was when the weight first started to stack itself on. I slowly went from a size 8… size 10… and a few years later size 12. Now knocking at the door of size 14 – something I never ever want to be (not that its bad… i think it is now the average size for women in our country and most people carry it well). See, the thing is I dont carry weight very well. Im heavy around the middle with skinny legs… so from my thighs to my boobs there is just a big blub of weight and it makes me look pregnant. I can hide it and all that… but I just want the skinnier me back.

So yeah… my years of unhappiness with my weight mean that I have not gone near a scale in so long. My ex was horrible to me over my body. Id gain a few kilos and he would harass me and try to force me to go to the gym, or Id want to make pasta for dinner and he would tell me its too fatenning. It made me hate my body, and avoid the scales.

But I feel for the first time in a long time as if I am ready to get serious about my health and weight loss… I am being more consistent with the gym and we are starting to eat better. I dont have ice cream every night anymore – and if I do, its a mini-icecream that is low fat – like 3 bites. I have started eating apples at work (I never used to eat fruit) and I make things like calamari salad on saturday for dinner when Ben isnt around and I could easily just make fried potatoes.

The point of all this? If I really am to get serious, I think i need to get back on the scales again. I need to know how much I weigh so that I can set a target. I know it aint going to be pretty… I KNOW I will probably end up with a chocolate bar, chocolate milk and an icecream after it as I cry to myself about what I have done. But, you have to confront the demon to move on.

I stared at the scales last night while I waited for my class to start (yes, I did go to the gym last night – hottest day in melbourne’s history or something? It was still cooler than my house) and seriously considered walking right over there and weighing myself. But then I realised I hadnt quite prepared Ben for what might happen… and thats not fair.

Then I thought, fuck it. I have to do this sometime. But then the class started and by the end I had forgotten what I was meant to be doing.

It was only this morning that I remembered I was going to weigh myself. Oh well.

Saturday is my next scheduled gym stop (abs and body jam) and I am going to do it (as long as I remember given my crappy memory!) and I hope that it motivates me to work even harder!

Anyone know any ways to lose weight and still eat cheese and chocolate?

One thing Ive noticed since I started dating Ben is the ever constant “when are you going to get married!” question. It started before we were living together, when there was still the plastic wrapping on our relationship it was that new!

But it has definately increased with the Christmas season. Everyone asks what Ben is getting me for Christmas, and instead of waiting for an answer, they just say “an engagement ring?” Well no.

As I told my mother, who asks constantly, I dont want an engagement ring for Christmas! OK, if Ben DID choose to give me the ring for christmas, thats fine, but I feel as if perhaps Christmas and engagement are two separate events. And while it would be nice to have christmas and the engagement forever intertwined, I would kinda prefer it not to be. I dont really know why, I just do..

Even my facebook has my aunty asking me if Ben is getting me a ring for Christmas! Bens friends ask us, my friends ask us, my family ask us! It is just crazy. Why do people assume that if you are in a couple that Christmas time means engagement time?

The thing is, I really do want to marry Ben and he knows that. But as to when it happens, well Im leaving that up to him. 2 days from now, 2 years from now, its up to him. We are happy with what we have got and know that this is a forever thing. And everyone still has to remember, its only been just over a year! Its acceptable for us not to be engaged by now! Perfectly OK! Its not like we have been dating for 10 years and frustrating our parents to death!

The other night when shopping with my mum we were looking at the jewellers for a present for my step-grandma (she has a pandora bracelet… i dont know what that is, but mum was convinced a new charm was a good pressie for her) and we got to the last one with no signs of the required present, so my mum starts looking at the engagement rings, while I stand there looking uncomfortable. She asks me if i like this one or that one, and if it was her she would get this one. then she points at the most blinging thing ever and says what about this? and I said “Nooo that is WAY too much. I dont like anything that big” I think her philosophy on engagement rings is different to mine… she goes for the most expensive thing there, I was thinking I dont think I can wear a ring that costs that much! The simpler the better for me!

I just wish there wasnt this pressure around us. Why do people insist on it? Is it because they can see the inevitable? It makes me feel as if I should be trying to make this happen really soon instead of letting things take their natural course.  It makes me feel inadequate because I dont know how all this should go… what should I expect? I just would prefer to continue living life with my wonderful guy without the constant ring question. Whatever happens, happens!

Melbourne is currently undergoing a bit of a heat wave… Apparently the hottest week in 100 years! Yikes!

We dont have air conditioning… so being at home is slightly uncomfortable. But 2 days into the heat wave I am cautiously optimistic that I will get through this OK. I prefer the hot weather, although I prefer 30 degrees to 40! the house wasnt too bad last night… just a little sticky underneath me on the couch…so I went to bed early and the nice fan did a good job of keeping us cool. So much so that ben was stealing the doona!

I dont think it will stay as hot as they are predicting.. sure it might be 35 every day for the next week, but I think by the weekend the 40 degree days will be gone… why? Because its melbourne. And our weather is predictably unreliable… you check the weather in the morning, it predicts a sunny 27, you dress accordingly and by lunch it is raining and 15. That is why despite the hot weather my jacket is never far away! JUST in case.

On another (perhaps TMI) note… It is period week. Due in part to me forgetting I am meant to take my pill. Oops.

But anyways… how do others manage to do the discreet bathroom run with their lady things? Im always plauged by this… nobody else ever goes to the bathroom with their bag, or a little purse… not that I really watch! But I am always so paranoid that Ill be busted walking the walk with a little purse that it makes me embarassed! If ive got pockets great…. but today… flowy a line skirt and not a pocket in site! Maybe I just need to suck it all up!

The thing is, Ben and I dont really fight. Sure, we get pissy with each other (although thats mostly me!) and all that happens is Ill roll over on the couch and just go to sleep!

But Sunday, we had a fight. See, we had a big day on at Bens cricket club and he left early to help set up. So, finding myself with a place to myself and the internet not being dominated by Ben, logged on to facebook. Except there was some girls email on there. And i CRACKED it. I have a tendency to be a little crazy sometimes… and I kind of forgot that this isnt our computer… It is his dads work one that we have borrowed. So every now and then random emails pop up. We have seen it before… commented on it before…. but I am a crazy and so paranoid that this boy that I love might ever leave me, I lost it! I texted him, who is this girl, then when I didnt get a reply, I called. He didnt answer (because he was busy, duh) so I got even more mad!

But he talked me down saying about the random emails we always see… and so I forgot about it.

Until 11:30 when we were about to leave the club… after a day of drinking and no food. And he said something and I snarked back… then it was kinda on! He rightly said if I dont trust him, weve got problems. But I do trust him. Im just scared he would ever go… so I cried, he got me to stop crying, and we went home.

Then we chatted again, and I cried some more. I said how I get mad sometimes because he doesnt ever really talk about the future, apart from giving me crap for wanting to get married. See I forget that we have talked about it before, so theres no need to constantly talk about it. He said he knows I am the one and if it would make me happy he would propose to me tomorrow. And I said no that is not what I want! I dont want to get married tomorrow, I just want some more open communication, I want him to show me and tell me every now and then that I am the one for him. Because sometimes when the weeks become nothing but sitting on the couch deciding between this show and that, its hard to remember.

I was also a little upset because the night before we had gone out to the movies and he didnt hold me hand walking in… and I do need to remember that while I am ultra cuddly and always like to touch him and hold hands and all that, he isnt like that. And he is usually pretty good but that day didnt feel like it. I have to try and remember it isnt the end of the world!

But anyways, despite the stupid craziness that is me, things are really good. Ive been reminded of how he feels and that we are on the same track here. And he gave me lots of cuddles last night :)

Steak, corn & red bean salad (taste.com.au)

Ingredients (serves 4)
500g piece lean sirloin steak, trimmed of excess fat
1 tbs Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tbs olive oil
1 cup frozen corn kernels
800g canned red kidney beans, rinsed, drained
Juice of 1 lemon
2 spring onions, sliced on the diagonal
Method
Place the steak in a bowl and sprinkle over the Worcestershire sauce and 1 teaspoon of the ground cumin. Toss to coat the steak in the mixture.
Heat the olive oil in a frypan over medium-high heat. When the pan is hot, add the steak and cook for about 5 minutes each side for medium, or until cooked to your liking. Remove from the heat and set the steak aside in a warm place for a few minutes to rest, then slice.
Meanwhile, blanch the corn kernels in a pan of boiling water. Combine the drained kidney beans and corn in a bowl. Add the lemon juice and the remaining teaspoon of ground cumin to the bean mixture and toss to combine.
Add the sliced steak and the sliced spring onion to the salad and toss gently to combine.

Source
delicious. – October 2005, Page 153
Recipe by Nancy Duran

img_0418

This was actually realllllly yum! We had it on the really hot day here and so it was nice and light when your stomach wasnt up for much!

I didnt have much of the meat (not a big meat eater) but I substituted it for a bunch of avocado, and so good! I even chopped my spring onions properly!

One-dish salami pasta bake (taste.com.au)

Ingredients (serves 4)
375g dried penne pasta
75g shaved salami, chopped
100g semi-dried tomatoes, chopped
700g jar tomato pasta sauce
1/3 cup chopped fresh basil leaves
1/2 cup chopped fresh chives (I forgot to get these…)
2/3 cup grated cheddar cheese
small fresh basil leaves, to serve (And these…)
Method
Preheat oven to 200°C/180°C fan-forced. Lightly grease a 6cm-deep, 8 cup-capacity ovenproof dish.
Place pasta, salami, tomatoes, pasta sauce, 2 cups cold water, chopped basil and 1/3 cup chives in prepared dish. Stir to combine. Top with cheese. Cover dish with foil. Bake for 30 minutes. Remove foil. Bake for 15 minutes or until cheese is golden and pasta tender. Stand for 10 minutes.
Top with basil leaves and remaining chives. Serve.
Source
Super Food Ideas – May 2008, Page 38

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This was an OK pasta bake… Id obviously taken a chunk out already when I took this photo! The salami made it a little different, but the whole thing was just like a normal pasta… nothing special about it. Perhaps fresh chives and basil would have helped… but Im holding off buying herbs until my herb garden is started!

Chicken and cheese pasta bake (taste.com.au)

Ingredients (serves 4)
1 x Basic roast chicken ingredients (see related recipe) (I used 2 chicken breasts and cooked them)
400g dried tortiglioni or rigatoni pasta
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 small red onion, finely chopped
500g jar tomato pasta sauce (I used a spicy peppers one and it gave this a nice zing)
2 cups grated mozzarella cheese
100g baby spinach leaves
Method
Follow steps 1 to 3 of Basic roast chicken recipe. Remove skin and meat from chicken. Discard skin and bones. Roughly chop flesh.
Preheat oven to 180°C. Cook pasta in a large saucepan of boiling salted water, following packet directions, until just tender. Drain. Return to saucepan.
Meanwhile, heat oil in a frying pan over medium-high heat. Add garlic and onion. Cook, stirring often, for 3 minutes or until tender. Add onion mixture, pasta sauce, chicken, 3/4 cup cheese and spinach to hot pasta. Season with salt and pepper. Toss gently until well combined.
Spoon pasta mixture into a 7cm deep, 24cm x 19cm (base) baking dish. Top with remaining cheese. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until golden and heated through. Serve.

Source
Super Food Ideas – August 2004, Page 66

img_0409 I would use a smaller pasta the next time.

This is one of Bens favourites so far of the pasta bakes… I think it was the spicy pepper sauce!

pate brisee, leek and mushroom quiche from Smitten Kitchen

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Pate Brisee
Recipe adapted from Martha Stewart, technique from Julia Child

I didnt end up doing this… Me and pastry dont particularly get along, so I just used the supermarket shortcrust pastry. You should make it though. I might one day!
Makes one tart dough

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, chilled and cut into small pieces
2 to 3 tablespoons ice water

1. In the bowl of a food processor, combine flour, salt, and sugar. Add butter, and process until the mixture resembles coarse meal, 8 to 10 seconds.

2. With machine running, add ice water in a slow, steady stream through feed tube. Pulse until dough holds together without being wet or sticky; be careful not to process more than 30 seconds. To test, squeeze a small amount together: If it is crumbly, add more ice water, 1 tablespoon at a time.

3. Form dough into a single ball, flatten it into a disk, and wrap in plastic. Transfer to the refrigerator, and chill at least 1 hour. Dough may be stored, frozen, up to 1 month.

4. To par-bake the shell: Roll out the chilled dough as quickly as possible on a lightly-floured surface until is about 2 inches large all around than your pie pan. Either reverse the dough onto the rolling pin and unroll it over the mold or fold it into quarters and lay it over the mold, unfolding it. Press the dough lightly into the bottom of the pan, lifting the edges and working it gently down into the mold. Trim off excess dough by rolling the pin over the top of the mold.

5. With your thumbs, push the dough 1/8-inch above the edge of the mold, to make an even, rounded rim of dough around the inside circumference of the mold. You can then press a decorative edge around the rim of the pastry with the dull edge of a knife. Prick the bottom of the pastry with a fork at 1/2-inch intervals.

6. Line the pastry with foil and fill it with pie weights, uncooked rice or beans and bake in a preheated 400 degree oven for 8 to 9 minutes. Remove the foil and bake the shell for 2 to 3 minutes more. Remove it from the oven when the shell is just starting to color and just beginning to shrink from the sides of the mold.

7. If it seems to you that the sides of the shell are too fragile, or liable to crack or leak with the weight of the pie filling to come, do not unmold until your tart or quiche is filled and fully baked. To unmold it, slip it onto a rack so air will circulate and cool it, preventing it from getting soggy.

Leek and Mushroom Quiche [Quiche aux Poireaux et Champignons]
Adapted from Julia Child, Mastering the Art of French Cooking – On this, has anyone read Julie and Julia? Its on her making all the recipes from Mastering the art of french cooking very interesting! Kind of a fun idea too!

3 to 4 leeks, white part only, sliced (I used 2 HUGE leeks and it was plenty)
1/2 cup water
Salt
3 tablespoons butter
5 to 6 large white mushrooms, sliced
1 tablespoon port (didnt have this…. so didnt use it. I browned the mushrooms in butter and salt instead)
3 eggs
1 1/2 cups whipping cream (Deb: I use whole milk)
An 8-inch partially-cooked pastry shell on a baking sheet
1/4 cup grated Swiss cheese
1 tablespoon butter cut into pea-sized dots
I added 1 cup chopped bacon, as per the boyfriends refusal to eat vegetarian.

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

2. Boil the leeks over moderately high heat in a heavy-bottomed, covered saucepan with 1/2 cup water, two tablespoons butter and a teaspoon of salt until it the liquid has almost evaporated. Lower heat and stew gently for 20 to 30 minutes until leeks are very tender. Put them aside in a bowl.

3. Add a tablespoon of butter to the pan along with the sliced mushrooms, 1/4 teaspoon of salt and port. Cover pan and cook over moderately low heat for 8 minutes. Uncover. Raise heat and boil for several minutes until liquid is completely evaporated and mushrooms are beginning to saute in their butter. Stir cooked mushrooms into leek mixture.

3. Beat the eggs, cream or milk and seasoning in a large mixing bowl to blend. Gradually stir in the leek and mushroom mixture. Check seasoning. Pour into pastry shell. Spread on the cheese and distribute to the butter over it (Deb note: I’m not sure if it’s because I accidentally took it out a minute or two early, but I found the butter to leave a slight greasiness on top, getting in the way of a cheesy crust, and might skip it next time) (I skipped this, based on her note!). Bake in upper third of pre-heated oven for 25 to 30 minutes until puffed and browned.

NOTES:

This is a really yummy quiche! The leeks are really soft and almost melt in your mouth yummy. I am addicted to leeks! The boy HATES mushrooms, hence I think next time Ill adapt it so it doesnt have it, but even he said he couldnt really notice them.

Served with salad, WALA

img_0416 Such an awesome photo hey!

So I am trying to get fit… and this week is the first week I have actually felt like it is finally starting to kick in! We have been eating better with just one pasta bake, a quiche and salad, kiev and salad and a mexican salad… and I have actually done a decent week at the gym:

Monday – 25 mins cross trainer, 25 mins bike (ow!)
Tuesday – didnt go – 40 degree C day!
Weds – Body Vive class
Thurs – Body Balance
Friday – Nothing (got a skype date)
Saturday – Will be  doing a half hour abs followed by Body Jam

That is pretty much twice the effort I usually make! I have even cut down on the ice cream consumption and its damn hot outside!

I know its going to be ages before I start to see something come from all this effort, but I am trying to keep myself fit and healthy!

On the job front… well Im hunting and there is something in the works but I wont be counting my chickens just yet! But I need to get out of here! I am slowly losing my mind!

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