The good, the bad and the bitching!

So what a weekend!!! Friday I felt horrible and went home from work early, but once Id slept a few hours I felt OK enough to go out… so we went to the footy to watch Bens team play, but that was kinda it for friday! Saturday was really low key as I had to start my all-white diet… so in total for the day i ate 3 eggs, 3 pieces of white bread and a bowl of mash potato. very satisfying. I got a massage which helped relax me a little, and then went and hung out at my parents for a bit before going to see Ben play cricket. then we went back to his house and got ready for the 80s party at the cricket club that night. Wasnt in the most social mood as I was in a bit of pain but we made it til nearly midnight before leaving and there were some hilarious costumes! but im biased and think ben looked the best in his pretty pink suit!  When we got home I had to start taking the medication for sunday and as a result was in a lot of pain all night and didnt sleep much. Sunday morning we went back to my place and well Im not going to go into much detail, but its not pleasant and drinking all that liquid was so painful! Another night of not much sleep (although had some great naps during the day) and I was feeling so lethargic and out of it!Monday morning, mum picked me up and we get to the hospital. i get changed, the nurse (who was really nice thank god!) explained what was going to happen, then the strange doctor who was doing the procedure came and talked to me and asked me more about my grammar skills (so hard not to write mad skillz) than how I was feeling and what would happen, then the anesthetist guy came… and an hour after I was scheduled to go in, I went in. got wired up to the heart monitors and listened to the nurses panic about getting it all done quickly before the doctors came in because apparently theyre grumpy! And then the anesthetist came and stuck a needle in me and out i went! i love that feeling of sleeping! then i got woken up by the nurse and holy CRAP OUCH! the pain in my stomach was so bad!! i was also so out of it i apparently kept asking my mum if theyd taken my stupid hat off yet! then i got to eat (i was so happy about that! and they gave me icecream!) and the doctor came and told me that the good and bad news is that it looks like IBS which is good because its probably nothing more serious but bad because theres no real treatment. but ill get the results of some pathology tests on friday hopefully. so yeah… after that, went home and ate a little bit, then slept for a few hours and then ben called and i woke up and spoke to him while very out of it…then when he got to my place we went and returned his costume and went to the supermarket…. and he made me dinner for the first time which was yummy! he looked after me really well and i feel very lucky to have him around! so yeah… not a pleasant experience in all, and i still feel so out of it and am in a bit of pain but hopefully once i work out what food is causing this pain, thne i can avoid it!

So Ive been sick for about 6 weeks on and off… dealing with weird pains in my stomach. I didnt go to the doctor because when this happened a few years ago, she did a bunch of tests and never found anything. I just assumed it was the same thing.and it was, but this time she could diagnose it. so it turns out ive got IBS and now have to do some more tests and get a colonoscopy, which is my idea of hell! She had already ruled out celiacs disease and a few other from some blood tests we did a little while ago, so shes pretty sure its IBS although theres no way of really diagnosing it 100% but shes started me on the treatment, which are these pills that i eat before food and then make me want to be sick!! so now im waiting for my body to adjust to the pills, making an appointment for monday for hell, and trying to work out what my trigger foods are…. bah.on one hand its good because it really explains the pain ive been in and its good to have a diagnosis and not freak out every time i get sick like this… but on the other hand, theres no way of really controlling it besides eating healthy and even then that might not be enough.not so sure how i feel about it all yet… im a bit down and worried, especially will be worried until i can find out its nothing more serious (bowel cancer runs in my family) but bens been really good too… he doesnt realise how much it means to me when he asks if i need him to come with me or that we will get through it together, because Ive never had that.Ive already asked mum to take me (i think she would get offended if i didnt) but in the past, well, last time i went in for surgery my ex refused to even look after me afterwards and when i did come back home in pain, i had to make his dinner. having someone so supportive and concerned is really good, makes me feel loved! and not having to ask for that support is brilliant.

So last night was really nice… I got home from work and started cooking… most of it turned out really well… I didnt really like the chicken (I couldnt find the sauce i usually put on it so i decided to make my own and I tihnk i over-limed it but ben liked it) but the banana tarts were yum! And perfectly timed, ben turned up just as everything was ready! He knocked on the door even though he usually comes in, so I opened it and he was standing there with the cutest look on his face holding a teddy and a rose. So gorgeous! I would love a photo of him at that moment because it was just so cute!He also wrote me a really gorgeous card! So the teddy is now known as Rupert…. and hes really soft he is going to sit on top of my bed and yeah!So yeah, we ate, cuddled Rupert, cuddled each other and it was nice. it was great to get another night with him, especially as we are going to have a crazy weekend and I do cherish the time spent alone with him! Its tough to think how smitten I am with him! I just want to tell him all the time, but thats just a little nutty! He knows how I feel, I know how he feels… and really, Im just so happy!

Ahh valentines day… depressing if youre single, even more depressing if youre in a shitty relationship! But, I am not so hah! Ok ok ok… i dont mean to gloat or anything, but valentines day has held very little appeal to me for quite a few years now, simply because it is a giant disapointnment. It used to be a day where I could drag my ex to something like shakespeare… but then he refused to do anything with it for a while and then last year I was up until 1am moving his shit into his new place as a special present.This year though… I am happy! Im not sitting here hoping for flowers or chocolates or giant ads in the paper (newsagent actually sold out of papers today !!) Im just excited because I get to see my boy an extra day this week and I get to spoil him by making a really yummy dinner! So on the menu (and I can say it because I dont think hes going to read this before tonight!) is steamed vegies with peanut sauce on rice, coconut crumbed chicken (which sounds odd but is seriously yum) and then banana coconut tartlets for desert! Ive picked things that are pretty simplee to make or that Ive made before so I dont sit there and freak out, because basically I want it all cooked by 7 before he gets there so i can just serve it up and we can eat and then relax!The last few weeks have felt a bit hectic and I really just need a night at home to chat and cuddle and for me, thats more what tonights going to be about – an excuse to see my boy!

So another weekend ended… another monday morning depression. Friday night was great – we went out to celebrate our 3 month anniversary and went for Thai food on Lygon st… yummy! This of course meant that we both saved room for gelati! I was just sitting there thinking about how lucky I am to be with this great guy… Is it possible for someone to look more attractive as you get to know them? Saturday i went off to get a massage at the day spa… they stuffed me around over my appointment the other day so I got a free facial too! so now my skin feels soft After that I got an sms from Bee saying that her boyfriend of 3.5 years had dumped her via text… which while it is bad for her and all that, really, he was an asshole to her. to the point where we were all worried about whether or not he was abusive. Sure, we know he is emtionally abusive (whats with guys and doing this???) but as to whether he hit her or not… jurys out. but at least now hes pissed her off so much that shes finally had it… and hopefully is going to start moving on! so i took her out for cake and she vented…. hopefully next sat night i can get her out and get her drunk too!Sat night I went and got ben from cricket and then we met up with a bunch of his friends at a mexican restaurant…. it was all very nice and all that. I struggle a bit to talk to them… The ones I knew better than the others were on another table too, but overall it was a good night! Ben was so tired though that he slept in the car home and was asleep in bed by the time Id taken my makeup off! SO cute Sunday we slept in, ate some food, watched a dvd, slept and that was pretty much it! I dropped him home and grabbed some thai takeout (the craving continues) and watched some tv and then read! The thing I cant explain is why I get so sad when he isnt around! not sad.. like i dont sit there and cry or anything, but when he goes home or i leave for work in the morning its always “damn, i have to wait 2 whole days until I can see him again!!” I just want him around always! Sometimes I feel Im a bit impatient with this relationship, like I know that its something there and this isnt a short term thing, and plus i know he feels the same, so its like thinking to myself, why cant we do this or plan for that and its like… well because its only been 3 months!! Ive never felt like this and Ive never had this feeling, the point of being impatient for the future to happen! Ive been a roll with it and try not to expect too much kind of girl, but my thinkkings changing and its driving me nuts! All I want to do right now is give him kisses and cuddles, cook him food and relax!  BTW – 2/4 new people at work suck. beyond the point of even being nice to them anymore. i cannot hide my impatience or annoyance!!